The Journey through Menopause
‘May this be an invitation, to drop in to your body, with a listening heart, an open mind, and the wisdom of the spirit’.
I have seen hundreds of women now, in various phases of hormonal cycles, many consumed by the suffering, the pain and the not-enoughness of being a woman. Speaking the words, implying ‘I hate this and it is wrong’ to have hormonal changes.
How clever, our society has been trained, to have conditioned women to believe that the power of our cycles, is something to be shamed, hated on, and fought against.
I was that women once… And now, one-by-one, we begin to open our eyes and our hearts, and sink in to the truth. A truth that once spoken, seems to soften a womans body, because she already knew it, she had just forgotten.
The journey through Peri-menopause, is one I liken to the energy of being in the pre-menstrual phase of our cycle. That week prior to bleeding, that often comes with a whole range of topsy turvy emotions and raging anger. A week that is often met with ‘oh shes just hormonal’ or ‘oh watch out, she must be getting her period’. (insert vomit). The PMS Zone, is a time where women have access to alllll of the junk in the trunk, where we can see all of our limiting beliefs and hurts, and sometimes, that shit fucking hurts. We have no filter in PMS land. If we feel it, we say it, as it is. Does that sting you? Sorry, because that’s my truth. (ouch)
The Physical Journey through Menopause
The physical journey through menopause is the gradual declining of our reproductive hormones. They usually begin to decline as our egg reserve declines, signalling to the brain that it is time to stop sending ‘reproduce’ hormones to our ovaries and uterus. It is a huge time for our hormones, our brain, our stress responses and our detoxification pathways, as our bodies try to manage all of the extra hormones moving around. (Can I please add, perimenopause is a highly fertile time of your life, so if you arnt wanting to make babies, be extra careful!)
The psychical symptoms a women can often experience through Peri-menopause is, a disruption in sleep, hot flushes, mood swings, decreased stress response, increased anxiety or depression, low libido, vaginal dryness, hair loss, dry skin, excessive sweating and heavy, irregular and painful periods. FUN! The average time frame of symptoms are around 12-24 months.
These symptoms are very common in menopause, but are actually a symptoms of underlying dysfunction. In other words, if you are experiencing physical symptoms, menopause is not the cause, the underlying dysfunctions are the cause. Menopause has just highlighted them for you, because theres so much going on in your body at that time.
The Spiritual Journey though Menopause
The transition through Menopause is a transformation from the busy-ness and doing of mother (be it physical mother or care-giving in any form), in to the being, of matriarch, the wise elder, the council, the guide.
The spirit of a matriarch, is done with doing! She wants to rest. She wants to be present. She has limited capacity to run and rush and do and push. THAT is the energy of the Mother. The matriarch, is the wise women, who feels spacious enough to be present with you. Because she is not so consumed by her to-do list. Take a moment to reflect on an older woman in your family, notice how she doesn’t rush, she has time to guide you, you holds space for you, and you feel so much better after her advice. She is the Matriarch, the leader of the home, and she is deeply wise.
So often the suffering of peri-menopause, is the fight against our bodies and psyche’s, trying to soften and slow down. We try and push, when she wants rest. We try and shame her for not being enough, and wish her stronger. We create our inner suffering, and turn away from the greatness unfolding.
The interesting thing, I observe often, as a women in the mother energy of life, is how many times we say’ I wish life wasn’t so busy, I wish it was simpler, I wish I was more present’. But when our body and minds begin to slow us, we fight against, wishing they would speed back up! Isnt it interesting to see, that this very thing we are experiencing in menopause, it what we have been begging for, for such a long time!
As we transition in to the being of the matriarch, our brain and hormones shift. Our adrenalin calms down, our ‘fertility’ (be it physical and spiritual), begins to change. We move out of the goal chaser and successful woman, filled with creative fertility and ‘production’, and finally begin to smell the roses. *bliss
If we soften in to this, we get to see, that all we have been chasing, has been here the whole time. And in time, if we listen, we get to bask in it. Like a slinky cat lying in the sun.
We enter the world of rich, deep fulfilment. Fulfilment that goes far beyond the success of goal and doing.
Our heart is full. Our spirit is happy. And the roses smell divine.