Stories, not the kind we read at night to our children, or the ones we watch at the movies, I want you to think about the stories that are running the dialogue in our mind. Sometimes made up fantasies or also, made up fears. Every day, 90% of the thoughts we have are the same as yesterdays! AND 90% of the thoughts we have, are not ours, they are a combination of made up stories about life that we have picked up from our world. Let me give you an example... A brother and sister grow up in the same family, exposed to the same situations, however both have a different story of events. We create stories based on what we hear and perceive around us and they shape our world. We perceive situations as 'good' or 'bad' generally based on how turned on our nervous system is. If you are anxious and experience trauma, you will never forget that moment. It will pang in your gut and likely trigger your nervous system each time you think of it. However, if you are pretty calm and experience trauma, it may not build up in your cells and can just pass on by as a stressful event.
Our inner stories, begin to shape our perceptions, they are the director of our life, augmenting how we view the world. Very common stories I hear;
'I never stick to anything'
'I always fall off the banwagon'
'I cant do it, its too hard'
'I just couldn't give up sugar, I'm addicted'
My favourite one in my life has been 'I cant do it, its too hard' and 'Ill never be healthy'. I know that these are stories I made up. Let me break them down for you;
I cant do it, its too hard - There is 2 sides to this story and I believe, it has been made up as a preservation tool. When life gets too hard, if I CANT do it, I give myself permission to flake out. I also give myself permission to ask for help and surrender. I rest, I ground, I nurture. I dont beat myself up here because 'I just couldnt do it'. Second part, (story or not) I have come widely from generations of family of 'disempowered' people. Only by watching my Mum try to break through of the 'family curse' have we started to heal and realise that we run the show and are not just victims of the shitty things that have happened throughout the decades including trauma, abuse, mental health struggles and addiction.
Ill never be healthy - I have watched every single person in my family, pass away from a chronic health issues way before their time. There has been no 'My Nanna lived to 93 and played bingo until she was 80'. I have seen first hand the 'suffering' which I believed was a part of getting old. There has been no ageing gracely, or peacfully passing in her sleep. It has been a battle of life and death for decades before finally surrendering. THEN I decide to choose a profession which learns and investigates DISEASE all day long! See how easily I have developed a concrete story that its just not within me? That its just not possible?
On a BRIGHTER note ~ I share my examples as I genuinely believe, my role on earth is to stop the suffering of my family, to transcend the traumas, to empower the future generations. I don't say this to toot my own horn because its not my choice, this is a story that is wayyyyy depper then me and something I have always felt 'This stops with me, no more'. It gives me goosebumps everytime I think of it but is the reason I keep going.
So here I am, sharing my experience on how for almost 90% of my life (that's a running number huh), I have been living life based on my stories and have never truely believed my goals are possible, just kinda hoped. But I stand here today, in a much better place. I know its possible. I know as I have seen it, felt it and cocooned it in my arms and heart. I have smelt what it smells like, and felt its breeze on my cheeks. I know what is possible now and I acknowledge and give thanks to the biggest stories that were keeping me from achieving it.
Where to from here?
~ Acknowledging the stories you run. When your anxious or frazzled, what sentence is running over in your head? Write it down!
~ Understand where the stories may have come from... Are they yours? Are they your Parents? Are they from your favourite movie?
~ Why are your stories here? Can you transcend them into empowerment or do they protect you in some way? Do they serve your goals or take you further away?
~ Make the choice on which stories you WANT to be running the show... Do you want to believe 'I cant give up sugar' or do you want to believe 'I honour my body and will nourish her'.
~ Repeat, Replace & Rejoice ~ Everytime you notice you are running on a story that doesn't serve you, flip it, replace it, repeat it over and over, feeeeel your body soothe and thank you. Acknowledge when you are resetting the neural pathways to run for you, not against you.
Sounds so easy huh! Hehe... Easy my dear it is not, but empowering HELLS YES! And pleeeeeease, do not travel this path on your own. I sit here after almost 3 decades of therapy and personal growth and 11 years in the wellness space.
If you are ready to rewrite your stories and understand what may be holding you back, you know where I am and I have the most incredible tribe of teachers to help you along the way.
Be well, Charmaine xxx